Kevin Disciplines Again

So my little kindergarten buddy, Special E-D-D-I-E, as I will call him, continues to fill the hour I spend with him with joy. As you may already know, he is slightly autistic and just a brilliant kid. He is "long" in his text book as he will say, as he has gone ahead of the rest of the class, and is finished a 100 page book while the rest of the class is at about the 40 page mark. He really doesn't pay attention to me at all, which is fine, as long as he doesn't distract others.

But when he does distract others, this can be a problem. He gets tunnel vision, and so often what he doesn't see is Kevin teacher standing at the other end. The other end can be a long way away as when he is into whatever he is doing, he's a tough one to distract, but when he's done he gets a bit of Kevin teacher.

So you ask, what does Kevin teacher do at this point? I have written his name on the board, little has happened, I have gone to writing one letter on the board at a time, threatening that something will happen when I spell his name, knowing full well that nothing actually will. This only encouraged him, as he would request more letters. "Kevin teacher, E-D-D please!" I have taken him out of class to let him "ponder his actions in class", only to have the fire extinguisher on the floor captivate him as I lecture him. This brings up questions like, "Kevin teacher, dangerous?" or "Water come out"................"Yes Eddie, both, don't touch!"

Then I threatened to send him to the school director, "scary Martin" (he's great, this is just the impression we try and give the kids). This worked for a bit, but started to wear off, when it did, I would actually physically drag him out of the class as he resisted and tell him that if he went outside, he wouldn't have to go to Martin.

Let's be serious, none of these worked, or at least they did, but with a bit of time, they all wore off. So behold...................I have found the ultimate, his weak spot, to be exploited whenever I feel the need to.............................."Eddie, dentist!"

O boy, this is like searching for treasure at the bottom of the rainbow and actually finding it. You knew it wasn't there, in fact, how could it be, it's a fairy tale!

Let me give you a brief conversation in the class, of one kid receiving the threat of discipline, and Eddie piping up to get his two cents in:

Victory (Kindergarten, whiner): "Kevin Teacher, Brian hitting"

Kevin (forcefully commanding, remembering this is a Kindergartener): "No hitting Brian, or to Martin!"

Brian: (silent........................)

E-D-D-I-E: "Kevin Teacher, Brian to Martin, I got to dentist?"

Kevin Teacher (with a grin on my face): "Yes Eddie, you go to dentist."

This has happened over and over again with this young guy, I just had to say something. I don't even think I am doing him any justice by blogging this. You really need to hear how he emphasizes particular syllables. It is pure comedy.

I hope it gives you a glimpse of at least one of the things a teacher does during his day. It has given me a whole new respect for those who teach kids this age, and it has affirmed my choice not to spend my entire life doing it. Maybe at some point the older ones, but not the young ones, that is for sure.

Kev